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the evolution of a mom whisperer



Once upon a time, I homeschooled a little boy who had OCD and Tourette’s and I wondered if there was anyone who could help me see how I was made to be his mom. I felt I failed him. I knew something in me was made for my family – but how? I wanted a mom whisperer. I saved themomwhisperer.com and ultimately, I blogged there to help and encourage moms. I taught classes online and locally. But then I went through a separation and my gram died. Then my divorce was finalized, also removing me from the family business. Then my uncle died. I still blogged and cut weekly videos on having a teen in high school. In real life, friends moved. Other friends chose to be out of my life for a variety of reasons. Jordan, my son, didn’t want to go to college, so I took him to Los Angeles to see if he wanted to pursue photography there for a gap year. While in LA, my hair got cut to 3 inches to help save it. I took a break from The Mom Whisperer because I couldn’t think clearly enough to engage at that point. The House Sold. Jordan Moved.


What started as a Summer break from the mom whisperer became no natural way back in. I had no stories, nothing familiar, and no words left. The dog died. I had no markers for the day no morning routine no orders for the family business no errands to run no dinner time to make by 6 o’clock. Meals that used to be on a family table were alone. A daily routine now focused on therapy appointments for loss and grief, walking in nature, and writing. New neighbors replaced familiar ones.​ I needed to listen to life‘s whispers. I needed time, new views, help from others, women's circles, and long drives. I needed to learn identity work on how to reconfigure who I was with no roles no family around and a life I no longer recognized. Every Friday for these three years of loss I wrote a post on Facebook and called it FearLess Fridays. Partly I wrote it so I could take stock of what was happening. Partly, to connect to the online world in some way. Partly, so I could keep pushing myself to not hide even though life was shattered. Until one day it all occurred to me, what subconsciously felt like the death of a Mom Whisperer, was merely just a stage of being the Mom Whisperer. As humans we grow, we evolve and we step into whom we are meant to be and the impact we are meant to create. By allowing my subconscious to control the narrative, I would then be playing small. That's where One Fearless Life was birthed. Motherhood is messy and beautiful and challenging and a lot of other words, but one thing it isn't is temporary. I'm a mother who poured her life into helping other mothers at any stage of life and that's the work I will continue to do. One Fearless Life is a place for me to authentically show up as Vikki Spencer, The Mom Whisperer, the author, the realist, and the mentor.


Truth is life iterates. We learn, we change, and grow. And sometimes in the process, we lose who we truly are. In turn, we end up playing small in this big world.


While I don't wish these past few years of my life on anyone. I do wish hope, centeredness, and purpose to everyone.


SO WE BEGIN.

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